TimeoutwithDESE

I give up on writing.  Really.  It's not what it used to be.  It no longer feels warm.  I remember my first time on Wattpad and how butterflies formed in my belly when I read different stories, and I thought  "Ah, wouldn't it be nice if someone else could have a taste of this feeling of bliss"?  This was how my love story began until I was swayed into the arms of another in search of a solution to my many problems.  A journey of hatred and suffocation started.  Why, you may ask?  Well, I won't mince words when giving my answer. It's too accurate to miss😂 That which I once held dear became a bitter experience.  It tore the garment of my soul!  It gave me the feeling of an American male teenager who has parents who are always at loggerheads.  No comfort.  No solace.  No calm .  Just a space filled with darkness as thick as a forest.  I used to live for writing.  It was the bane of my existence.  It ...

  Some days, I wake up depressed. Some days, I wake up with so much energy that it feels surreal. Some days, I'm numb. Some days, I don't even get to check how I feel 😂 But one thing keeps lurking around the corner. My Circle . We've all had bad memories when it comes to people—most especially, with friends. "Love is a static emotion. You cannot love without being motivated to express it." Tim Lahey. We've bared our hearts to those people because of the level at which they've offered a shoulder in our time of loneliness. I might add that an intimate level has been reached. Get your mind off of the gutter. Some of us have gone the long way for people because you know how it would be to have a person who will cheer for you even when you put in the littlest of efforts. Or is it when you know the feeling of having someone in your corner, of having someone who has your back till the end? It's a general pain. Most of us have experienced betrayal in our frie...

A Tired body. Drowsy eyes. Weak legs. As I pen down my thoughts for you, these are the expressions of the state I've found myself in. I wonder what will happen if I don't show up when my heart already knows the answer, and so I keep going because the feeling of regret and distrust in oneself is too much of a burden to bear. Speaking of distrust, something crazy happened to me. "What was I thinking?" I have been asking myself what went wrong. I was fully aware of my words and environment, but somehow I got lost in my head. Lost in my abilities . As much as it seemed funny, it caused me a lot of concern. I've always been an avid Word Lover. Words make me happy. New words give me ecstasy. Once I come across a word I'm unfamiliar with, I tend to leave every engagement just to get the information surrounding that word. So it shouldn't have been a problem to spell the word "Grace". Yes, that's the word I misspelled in front of a crowd—–quite embarr...

I had so many episodes this May. By episodes I mean challenges, especially for my character. I know I have many flaws, but it irks me when people try to talk to me regarding how to handle them because I feel naked. Like they have stripped me of my clothes and cast me into the market square. Pretty embarrassing . Well, I gave it some serious thought because in the end; I carry over ninety percent of the effects of the bad habits I exhibit. I'm the direct hit, so if I don't change or turn a new leaf, I'll suffer. So I took it upon myself to identify the bad traits in me and it'll surprise you to know that they're so many😩. I used to think I was an okay human, one without stress because "I no too like wahala", one who smiles and waves and is quite nice to everyone until I examined myself. This is how some of us come to conclusions about ourselves and without thinking, we feel entitled to some things because we think we're nice. You expect good things to ...