THE WORLD OF A MAN

There's this silly saying that "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus". 

Very funny.

But looking at it from a different point of view, you'll see that it's actually true. 

Mars is the fourth planet away from the Sun and it's really cold and unfortunately that's how the world sees them. 

Cold-hearted...

 Cruel

  Heartless

   Insensitive

    Inhuman

Only one gender. Not easy yeah?

Have you ever wondered why the antagonist in most romance novels are women? Or why both male and female authors dwell so much on them (women) like there's only one gender on earth? Well it's easy, men are a whole lot complex species. In this little time I've spent on earth, I've had my fair share of interacting with them and trust me when I say they're easy to understand I'm a totally different way.

As a child, I watched the way my brothers were treated, quite different I must say. Although I am the most senior out of all my siblings, my dad would never send me out to get something when it's dark. Instead he sends my younger brothers. I didn't understand why, it made me feel unimportant and fragile and I just had to ask him. His response, "The world doesn't favor men the same way it favors women. That's why I want them to start knowing it now." Funny enough, this is the hard truth! 

                   

One thing with this set of humans is denial. Most of them will always like to put up a brave face even when their insides are crashing down. They always feel the need to be the bigger person. I guess it is fulfilling for them when they are able to raise their shoulders high, chest out while saying to themself 'I am a Man'. Oh the Joy it must be!

Men have feelings but rarely share. The few who do, find it very hard at first but would you blame them? Nehi. No. 

A lot of things come into play. For example, in the upbringing of a child, a boy is praised for being tough when he's supposed to cry or feel down and this unfortunately follows him for life. It sticks eventually.

"Different genders are socialized differently and, generally speaking, often have different societal expectations," explains Jesse Kahn, LCSW, CST, sex therapist and director at The Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center. 

And this explains why we all act the way we do.

The day for celebrating the boy child came and I didn't see a single post from any guy on my contact list. The weird part is not that they didn't know it was their day, but none saw the need to celebrate. October 11th will come and voila! both genders will post and celebrate the international day of the girl child.

I uploaded this poster above on my status on that particular day and I got some responses but one of it really got to me. 

He said:

"Hahaha.. wrongest advice for men cuz it always backfire.. women don't like men admitting their hurt and pains. Only beer listens to us. Man wasn't built to show tears more so cry. It makes us look weak even before them females that profess to care about our vulnerability. I rather die than show a woman my vulnerability, It never turns out well."

The last line of the this response shocked me. I honestly didn't know what to say to this person because from his words I could tell that his mind was made up. Sad. 

In as much as alcohol rids you off a particular feeling, it's still not the best option. According to this guy, he'll rather die than show a woman his vulnerability. Then you wonder, What if he ends up marrying? Can't he share it with his wife who he has promised to spend the rest of his life with? Imagine if they end up not having children, what will happen? Obviously the woman will get frustrated and even leave. Not even love will be able to glue them together.

So here is my take, a man being vulnerable to those he loves just reassures them and make them want to go through everything and anything with that man. You don't need to be tough all the time, it's okay to just lean in and receive some cuddle. I hear people say that women are deceitful but I stand my ground to say that they are loyal to those who they love. It doesn't make you less of a man if you show weakness, you're only human after all. So please come off that ideology.

I'm not trying to say that you can't want your own space sometimes but please don't always keep it in. Life itself is a risk, so take that risk and talk to someone you trust enough. Heck, it could even be a stranger. But in all, sharing a burden helps in reducing the weight of it.

Dear Men, the world won't see you differently if you show those emotions. Sorry that the weight is on your shoulders. Sorry that society has made it seem like you need to be strong all the time and I'm sorry to say that that can only change when you want it to. It can only change if you want it to. 

So what's your pick?

D.