If there's one thing I detest, it's indecisiveness.
You fall into so much guilt when you're between a rock and a hard place, and the worst part, it's not a happy place.
Unfortunately, it came with full force this March.
I love having things under control. If it's going to slip through my fingers someday, then I'd rather not carry it.
If I decide this is the way I want to go about it, then there's no going back.
I had to take a side concerning something important in my life. In the short run, I didn't see the need. Just work on it and go with the flow.
I kept working towards it, putting in lots of effort and even going out of my comfort zone—which is actually comfyðŸ¤.
After so much postponement, the time finally came for me to take a stand. I've never been so confused in my life.
I don't know if you've been in a situation where you had to choose to forgo or continue. How did you feel? If it's sad, you probably can feel how pinchy my shoes were.
I felt so overwhelmed because the outcome of any side I picked could backfire. I made a draft of the pros and cons of each of them yet, no show.
One fateful day while in transit, I had time to collate my thoughts, and even shed a few tears—don't laugh😂. It was necessary.
I asked myself, "Why are you even going with this sef? What's the reason behind carrying out the activities? "
You won't believe it! Immediately I asked myself, the answer came—I feel it was just there, sitting and waiting for me to grasp it.
Validation and Fear.
What a crazy combo!
As humans we crave so much for what people think that we get so lost in pleasing rather than living, rather than doing what is good for us.
When you act with the plan of others in mind, you lose your bearing and even derail out of the so-called plan.
Why?
Well, you're not true to yourself.
You keep suppressing the little voice inside that's trying to reach out to your mind.
It's calling out to you, and you're blocking it out because you're scared.
It's okay to be. After all, it's your life you're thinking about here.
But in the end,
It's you who goes to bed with tears in your eyes.
It's you who goes to bed without food at night.
It's you who gets caught up in the web.
It's the same you who will answer for whatever decision you take then why do you do what you do?
Who is it for huh??
Ask yourself questions.
It's the least you can do.
I write this with so much pain because I often find myself there; doing things without actually thinking, and in the end, it's not even my thing.
I care for you so much, and it's the reason I ask that you be true to yourself.
Please, do it for yourself.
You deserve so much.
You're not an imposter.
Till next time,
D.
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