TimeoutwithDESE

Chances are you and I both went through a series of constant changes this year.  Some shocked us right through our core and others, we expected with our full chest. Even those we expected, hit us so bad that till now, it's hard to phantom. One year dies and yet, another blossoms. Another great opportunity to be thankful and to reflect on the happenings this year. Bring together the good, the bad and the ugly.  The effect of remembrance will definitely fuel the flow of emotions but then, open your eyes to see things so that they work for you. Take a stance and make a change. THE GOOD I experienced happiness this year. In the form of comradeship most especially.  I got to meet individuals who are tirelessly rooting for me. Bliss I tell you! We encountered people who deposited so much value in us this year, pushed us to be better even when we proved difficult ( I'm calling myself out 😂). Some even went out of their comfort zones to be there. Imagine going through so much an...

  My decisions are mine and mine alone, even when influenced by others, I'm still the one with the final say. I'm still the one who decides if I want to go or if I want to stay. And so it kills me when such decisions bring about an emotion that won't give me a chance to breathe. That won't give me a chance to move. That won't give me a chance at life. Regret. Basically, we're looking at regret in context of the past i.e in things we wish we had done. Subtly put, Wishful Thinking. To regret means to feel sorry about something, to be remorseful.  It means that regret comes with a deep kind of sorrow. When we feel sorry, it means something went wrong or haywire.  It means there's a pain deep in your hearts knowing that if you went back in time, you would definitely change the turnout of things. "Assuming I just listened, I wouldn't be in this state". This is the sound of someone who feels sorry for themselves for not doing something or taking acti...

😂 This October, funny and baffling things happened. I’ll start with the funny, because who doesn’t like a good laugh? I was at my lowest this month, money-wise. It was so bad that even my savings could not save me, and let's not talk about my source of income. I asked myself, “And it’s not like you eat a lot, so what is the problem?” Guess what? The trendy song, Temporary Solutions , began playing in my head. You could imagine that! The lyrics hit me like epiphanies, and nothing made more sense to me than that song, Temporal Solution by Pastor Solomon. Now, there are two problems I identified in that song, and I’ll talk about the very obvious one. The Temporary Solutions. A good example should be Get Rich Quick Schemes. Life gets harder by the day, and it breaks the resolve of so many, you and I included. Getting access to food now has become a strenuous task. Eating three square meals a day takes the grace of God for a lot of us, and if you can afford it, you're as privileged...

I give up on writing.  Really.  It's not what it used to be.  It no longer feels warm.  I remember my first time on Wattpad and how butterflies formed in my belly when I read different stories, and I thought  "Ah, wouldn't it be nice if someone else could have a taste of this feeling of bliss"?  This was how my love story began until I was swayed into the arms of another in search of a solution to my many problems.  A journey of hatred and suffocation started.  Why, you may ask?  Well, I won't mince words when giving my answer. It's too accurate to miss😂 That which I once held dear became a bitter experience.  It tore the garment of my soul!  It gave me the feeling of an American male teenager who has parents who are always at loggerheads.  No comfort.  No solace.  No calm .  Just a space filled with darkness as thick as a forest.  I used to live for writing.  It was the bane of my existence.  It ...

  Some days, I wake up depressed. Some days, I wake up with so much energy that it feels surreal. Some days, I'm numb. Some days, I don't even get to check how I feel 😂 But one thing keeps lurking around the corner. My Circle . We've all had bad memories when it comes to people—most especially, with friends. "Love is a static emotion. You cannot love without being motivated to express it." Tim Lahey. We've bared our hearts to those people because of the level at which they've offered a shoulder in our time of loneliness. I might add that an intimate level has been reached. Get your mind off of the gutter. Some of us have gone the long way for people because you know how it would be to have a person who will cheer for you even when you put in the littlest of efforts. Or is it when you know the feeling of having someone in your corner, of having someone who has your back till the end? It's a general pain. Most of us have experienced betrayal in our frie...

A Tired body. Drowsy eyes. Weak legs. As I pen down my thoughts for you, these are the expressions of the state I've found myself in. I wonder what will happen if I don't show up when my heart already knows the answer, and so I keep going because the feeling of regret and distrust in oneself is too much of a burden to bear. Speaking of distrust, something crazy happened to me. "What was I thinking?" I have been asking myself what went wrong. I was fully aware of my words and environment, but somehow I got lost in my head. Lost in my abilities . As much as it seemed funny, it caused me a lot of concern. I've always been an avid Word Lover. Words make me happy. New words give me ecstasy. Once I come across a word I'm unfamiliar with, I tend to leave every engagement just to get the information surrounding that word. So it shouldn't have been a problem to spell the word "Grace". Yes, that's the word I misspelled in front of a crowd—–quite embarr...

I had so many episodes this May. By episodes I mean challenges, especially for my character. I know I have many flaws, but it irks me when people try to talk to me regarding how to handle them because I feel naked. Like they have stripped me of my clothes and cast me into the market square. Pretty embarrassing . Well, I gave it some serious thought because in the end; I carry over ninety percent of the effects of the bad habits I exhibit. I'm the direct hit, so if I don't change or turn a new leaf, I'll suffer. So I took it upon myself to identify the bad traits in me and it'll surprise you to know that they're so many😩. I used to think I was an okay human, one without stress because "I no too like wahala", one who smiles and waves and is quite nice to everyone until I examined myself. This is how some of us come to conclusions about ourselves and without thinking, we feel entitled to some things because we think we're nice. You expect good things to ...

In the court, the only way to freedom, is through substantial evidence. To prove your innocence, you need to show that you didn't commit the crime. And that's why it is said that evidence is the key a court needs to render their decision. Once there's nothing backing up your statement, you will be convicted.  In other words, you'll be confined.  Stagnant. The five year old you is very different from you now. Everyone can tell. Why? Because the evidence is very clear. There's been a change in height, weight and even size. I know in some homes, records are kept of how tall each child grows each year.  If there's a sign of stunted growth, medical attention is called for immediately because it's not normal. While we grow we notice changes, no matter how little. There's a change in your dealings and relationship with people. There's a change in your thinking. You become sensitive to your environment too. Now, in relation to your personal development, wha...

  If there's one thing I detest, it's indecisiveness. You fall into so much guilt when you're between a rock and a hard place, and the worst part, it's not a happy place. Unfortunately, it came with full force this March. I love having things under control. If it's going to slip through my fingers someday, then I'd rather not carry it.  If I decide this is the way I want to go about it, then there's no going back. I had to take a side concerning something important in my life. In the short run, I didn't see the need. Just work on it and go with the flow. I kept working towards it, putting in lots of effort and even going out of my comfort zone—which is actually comfy🤭. After so much postponement, the time finally came for me to take a stand. I've never been so confused in my life. I don't know if you've been in a situation where you had to choose to forgo or continue. How did you feel? If it's sad, you probably can feel how pinchy my sh...

I never kept my fingernails. Not because I don't like long nails; it's just that they found their way to my mouth at any given time— I'm telling you, my fingers have minds of their own. I'm sad, I bite. I'm anxious, I bite. I'm scared, I bite. I think, I bite. And the funniest, I'm hungry, I bite. Please don't judge me, and I won't do the same. So, because of these claims, I didn't fancy it until a thought dropped coupled with a little threat. I decided to keep my left pinky, More like a little experiment. Arrgh! The frustration that came with keeping it kicked in. Mere staring at it brings triggers the urge to bite. I was so anxious. I even asked myself if it might be nice cause I won't even lie. I was scared. Yeah, insecurities kicked in. But something in me kept calming my heart. Fast-forward to this moment, I wonder why I didn't keep them all these while. Though, on average, it came out beautiful. I never imagined my nails looking all...

I think the poem Que Sera, Sera needs to be rewritten. Why? I have come to a realization that what will be will be if and only if you put in the necessary 1% that is expected of you. You want to pass an exam. You skim through the surface of what you are to cover and conclude luckily, it's something you can achieve. Your thoughts have already drawn a simple step-by-step board on how you can achieve easy success.  All you need to do is put in the required effort and voila! You have good grades flowing through all your scripts. However, as humans, certain things limit us. The mind is the greatest. Sometime last year, I joined a 30 day writing challenge. I wanted to improve my skill. Not because I felt like it. I realized that even if writing came easy to me, I was still lacking in some areas. Prior to when I first saw the requirements of the challenge, I got cold feet. My first thought was how can this be? Writing for 30 days straight? Not possible! My thought process was already dera...