TimeoutwithDESE

Chances are you and I both went through a series of constant changes this year.  Some shocked us right through our core and others, we expected with our full chest. Even those we expected, hit us so bad that till now, it's hard to phantom. One year dies and yet, another blossoms. Another great opportunity to be thankful and to reflect on the happenings this year. Bring together the good, the bad and the ugly.  The effect of remembrance will definitely fuel the flow of emotions but then, open your eyes to see things so that they work for you. Take a stance and make a change. THE GOOD I experienced happiness this year. In the form of comradeship most especially.  I got to meet individuals who are tirelessly rooting for me. Bliss I tell you! We encountered people who deposited so much value in us this year, pushed us to be better even when we proved difficult ( I'm calling myself out 😂). Some even went out of their comfort zones to be there. Imagine going through so much an...

  My decisions are mine and mine alone, even when influenced by others, I'm still the one with the final say. I'm still the one who decides if I want to go or if I want to stay. And so it kills me when such decisions bring about an emotion that won't give me a chance to breathe. That won't give me a chance to move. That won't give me a chance at life. Regret. Basically, we're looking at regret in context of the past i.e in things we wish we had done. Subtly put, Wishful Thinking. To regret means to feel sorry about something, to be remorseful.  It means that regret comes with a deep kind of sorrow. When we feel sorry, it means something went wrong or haywire.  It means there's a pain deep in your hearts knowing that if you went back in time, you would definitely change the turnout of things. "Assuming I just listened, I wouldn't be in this state". This is the sound of someone who feels sorry for themselves for not doing something or taking acti...

😂 This October, funny and baffling things happened. I’ll start with the funny, because who doesn’t like a good laugh? I was at my lowest this month, money-wise. It was so bad that even my savings could not save me, and let's not talk about my source of income. I asked myself, “And it’s not like you eat a lot, so what is the problem?” Guess what? The trendy song, Temporary Solutions , began playing in my head. You could imagine that! The lyrics hit me like epiphanies, and nothing made more sense to me than that song, Temporal Solution by Pastor Solomon. Now, there are two problems I identified in that song, and I’ll talk about the very obvious one. The Temporary Solutions. A good example should be Get Rich Quick Schemes. Life gets harder by the day, and it breaks the resolve of so many, you and I included. Getting access to food now has become a strenuous task. Eating three square meals a day takes the grace of God for a lot of us, and if you can afford it, you're as privileged...

I give up on writing.  Really.  It's not what it used to be.  It no longer feels warm.  I remember my first time on Wattpad and how butterflies formed in my belly when I read different stories, and I thought  "Ah, wouldn't it be nice if someone else could have a taste of this feeling of bliss"?  This was how my love story began until I was swayed into the arms of another in search of a solution to my many problems.  A journey of hatred and suffocation started.  Why, you may ask?  Well, I won't mince words when giving my answer. It's too accurate to miss😂 That which I once held dear became a bitter experience.  It tore the garment of my soul!  It gave me the feeling of an American male teenager who has parents who are always at loggerheads.  No comfort.  No solace.  No calm .  Just a space filled with darkness as thick as a forest.  I used to live for writing.  It was the bane of my existence.  It ...

  Some days, I wake up depressed. Some days, I wake up with so much energy that it feels surreal. Some days, I'm numb. Some days, I don't even get to check how I feel 😂 But one thing keeps lurking around the corner. My Circle . We've all had bad memories when it comes to people—most especially, with friends. "Love is a static emotion. You cannot love without being motivated to express it." Tim Lahey. We've bared our hearts to those people because of the level at which they've offered a shoulder in our time of loneliness. I might add that an intimate level has been reached. Get your mind off of the gutter. Some of us have gone the long way for people because you know how it would be to have a person who will cheer for you even when you put in the littlest of efforts. Or is it when you know the feeling of having someone in your corner, of having someone who has your back till the end? It's a general pain. Most of us have experienced betrayal in our frie...

A Tired body. Drowsy eyes. Weak legs. As I pen down my thoughts for you, these are the expressions of the state I've found myself in. I wonder what will happen if I don't show up when my heart already knows the answer, and so I keep going because the feeling of regret and distrust in oneself is too much of a burden to bear. Speaking of distrust, something crazy happened to me. "What was I thinking?" I have been asking myself what went wrong. I was fully aware of my words and environment, but somehow I got lost in my head. Lost in my abilities . As much as it seemed funny, it caused me a lot of concern. I've always been an avid Word Lover. Words make me happy. New words give me ecstasy. Once I come across a word I'm unfamiliar with, I tend to leave every engagement just to get the information surrounding that word. So it shouldn't have been a problem to spell the word "Grace". Yes, that's the word I misspelled in front of a crowd—–quite embarr...

I had so many episodes this May. By episodes I mean challenges, especially for my character. I know I have many flaws, but it irks me when people try to talk to me regarding how to handle them because I feel naked. Like they have stripped me of my clothes and cast me into the market square. Pretty embarrassing . Well, I gave it some serious thought because in the end; I carry over ninety percent of the effects of the bad habits I exhibit. I'm the direct hit, so if I don't change or turn a new leaf, I'll suffer. So I took it upon myself to identify the bad traits in me and it'll surprise you to know that they're so many😩. I used to think I was an okay human, one without stress because "I no too like wahala", one who smiles and waves and is quite nice to everyone until I examined myself. This is how some of us come to conclusions about ourselves and without thinking, we feel entitled to some things because we think we're nice. You expect good things to ...

In the court, the only way to freedom, is through substantial evidence. To prove your innocence, you need to show that you didn't commit the crime. And that's why it is said that evidence is the key a court needs to render their decision. Once there's nothing backing up your statement, you will be convicted.  In other words, you'll be confined.  Stagnant. The five year old you is very different from you now. Everyone can tell. Why? Because the evidence is very clear. There's been a change in height, weight and even size. I know in some homes, records are kept of how tall each child grows each year.  If there's a sign of stunted growth, medical attention is called for immediately because it's not normal. While we grow we notice changes, no matter how little. There's a change in your dealings and relationship with people. There's a change in your thinking. You become sensitive to your environment too. Now, in relation to your personal development, wha...

  If there's one thing I detest, it's indecisiveness. You fall into so much guilt when you're between a rock and a hard place, and the worst part, it's not a happy place. Unfortunately, it came with full force this March. I love having things under control. If it's going to slip through my fingers someday, then I'd rather not carry it.  If I decide this is the way I want to go about it, then there's no going back. I had to take a side concerning something important in my life. In the short run, I didn't see the need. Just work on it and go with the flow. I kept working towards it, putting in lots of effort and even going out of my comfort zone—which is actually comfy🤭. After so much postponement, the time finally came for me to take a stand. I've never been so confused in my life. I don't know if you've been in a situation where you had to choose to forgo or continue. How did you feel? If it's sad, you probably can feel how pinchy my sh...

I never kept my fingernails. Not because I don't like long nails; it's just that they found their way to my mouth at any given time— I'm telling you, my fingers have minds of their own. I'm sad, I bite. I'm anxious, I bite. I'm scared, I bite. I think, I bite. And the funniest, I'm hungry, I bite. Please don't judge me, and I won't do the same. So, because of these claims, I didn't fancy it until a thought dropped coupled with a little threat. I decided to keep my left pinky, More like a little experiment. Arrgh! The frustration that came with keeping it kicked in. Mere staring at it brings triggers the urge to bite. I was so anxious. I even asked myself if it might be nice cause I won't even lie. I was scared. Yeah, insecurities kicked in. But something in me kept calming my heart. Fast-forward to this moment, I wonder why I didn't keep them all these while. Though, on average, it came out beautiful. I never imagined my nails looking all...

I think the poem Que Sera, Sera needs to be rewritten. Why? I have come to a realization that what will be will be if and only if you put in the necessary 1% that is expected of you. You want to pass an exam. You skim through the surface of what you are to cover and conclude luckily, it's something you can achieve. Your thoughts have already drawn a simple step-by-step board on how you can achieve easy success.  All you need to do is put in the required effort and voila! You have good grades flowing through all your scripts. However, as humans, certain things limit us. The mind is the greatest. Sometime last year, I joined a 30 day writing challenge. I wanted to improve my skill. Not because I felt like it. I realized that even if writing came easy to me, I was still lacking in some areas. Prior to when I first saw the requirements of the challenge, I got cold feet. My first thought was how can this be? Writing for 30 days straight? Not possible! My thought process was already dera...

  I woke up to songs from an overjoyed man this morning. Usually, things like this irked me because I don't like my beauty sleep being disrupted but this time I listened to this man. The manner in which he sang made me warm. He was so grateful that he made it to the end.  I'm sure he made many mistakes this year but God saw him through it all and I understood why he was so happy. Hey You, feeling sad that you didn't meet up to your expectations? You're not in the mortuary yet. Hey You, feeling like your goals would have all been fulfilled by this year end but it didn't work out that way? The world has not ended yet. Hey You, feeling like you didn't attain any heights this year? Well, check it out, at least you're taller than some people. Hey You, feeling like you should put more effort in the coming days? You definitely should. Stagnation is a disease. Hey You, feeling like you should have taken the bull by the horns and approached that special someone? If y...

  Your circle determines a lot. It's not just about being there for each other. It's not just about understanding each other. It goes beyond care too. DO THEY LIGHT YOUR PATH? As a person, you need people to grow. You can't do it all alone.  You're not Four Arms .  One thing I tell myself, God won't come down to stop you or save you from something. He has already sent his son for that reason, so if there's danger lurking, a message to pass, a gift to share, who would he use? Definitely, a person connected to you! The people around you. The people who are closest to you. You might have a bias. Your reason might be that strangers also help people.  Some people might even say most of the assistance they get is from strangers. It can't be disputed, so going deeper will breed more understanding. It all starts with the definition of the word Help.  Help means to aid, assistance rendered. The way the world sees help now is quite disheartening. If I don...

I think y'all have to wire my aza because my soothsaying skills have become top-notch. I gave you a heads-up about October. I hope you had a plan. I would describe mine as bittersweet. A beautiful beginning with a rollercoaster ending. I'm pretty sure everybody had their share.  Some got crumbs, and others, Lion's Share. I think I fall in the category of others. What about you? Regardless of the category, I hope you didn't fall off the radar. Cause I did, and I fell hard.  October was razz for me. At first, I was dividing myself into two, which is a lot, and by the middle of October, I was into three.  Let me not even get started about the end part because it was not funny. 😪 So yes, I did fall, and the crazy thing is, I didn't want to get back up. The stress was three much. In my mind, I thought if I put myself back up, I won't be able to hold fast. I just wanted it all to end.  Then I came to a realization. It never ends.  Funny enough, that's what life...

September has taught us a lot. October will teach us more. I'm sure some things have happened this month that have left you in awe. It may have been good or bad. What's important is, did you learn from it?  Did it make you think otherwise? The most important question: Did you plan it? I followed the burial of Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, very closely for two reasons. One, because I'm a lover of history. I get a sense of satisfaction when history is made, and her death is definitely history. The second reason is that I saw a video on how the Queen's burial had been planned even before her death. I wanted to see if they'll fall through with it, and to my utmost surprise, it went accordingly, with more things to fall into play now that King Charles III is on the throne. If you watched it, you had seen how organized they were. From the Royal family down to the people who came to pay their last respects. This burial was planned even before the Queen died,...

GET HELP! I started writing at an early stage.  It was mainly for pleasure at the time.  It helped me gain a hold on a subject I wanted to master. So when I experienced writer's block, I didn't take it seriously because I didn't see writing as a principle back then. With time, I saw myself getting more engrossed in writing. It came easy to me. It became a medium of expression. I'm angry, I write. I'm happy, I write. I'm sad, I write. Whatever emotion, I pen it down. It became my solace. The need for people to hear me came, and that's when my blog was birthed.  I didn't even know about niches. All I wanted to do was write. So I started TIMEOUTWITHDESE. Published my first article. I was nervous at first. It was the first time people were going to see my work. I felt like a mother; who was sending her child outside for the first time. So many funny thoughts ran through my mind, but I did it. Then came the responses from people.  My heart melted....

There's this silly saying that "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus".  Very funny. But looking at it from a different point of view, you'll see that it's actually true.  Mars is the fourth planet away from the Sun and it's really cold and unfortunately that's how the world sees them.  Cold-hearted...  Cruel   Heartless    Insensitive     Inhuman Only one gender. Not easy yeah? Have you ever wondered why the antagonist in most romance novels are women? Or why both male and female authors dwell so much on them (women) like there's only one gender on earth? Well it's easy, men are a whole lot complex species. In this little time I've spent on earth, I've had my fair share of interacting with them and trust me when I say they're easy to understand I'm a totally different way. As a child, I watched the way my brothers were treated, quite different I must say. Although I am the most senior out of all my siblings, my dad...